Yea, you read the title right. I’ve still got the V-card. Holding on to the Sacred Cookie. The kitchen is closed. The cherry and all other fruit are still in the fridge (Wait, do you keep cherries in the fridge? I don’t eat them so I wouldn’t really know-lol). Anyway, Clank. Clank. Lock the chastity belt and throw away the key (Insert Other Clever Colloquialisms To Describe Virginity Here).
When you’re a teenage virgin and you tell people, immediately they’re all like “Awww, that’s so cute.” When you get to be 23 years old, however, the “Awww, that’s so cute” turns into, “OMG, What?! But, Why?! How?! Are You Like, A Nun or Something?!”
I was a little apprehensive to write this blog post at first because this is honestly a topic that’s bit awkward for me. Recently, I had to do an assignment in class answering the prompt, “If you had to start a blog, what would you write about?” Of course, I could’ve chosen to write about hair reviews and television (trust me, you’ll see those topics make appearances on this blog, too), but I wanted to write about something else. Something that isn’t already talked about very often.
When I was about 19, I made a YouTube video on my channel (@beauty4kicks-make sure you’re subscribed) about being a virgin. Back then, it was much easier to talk about. I mean, I still got weird reactions from some people, but at the same time, I was only 19. It was normal. Now that I’m 23 years old, things are much different.
I’m actually not just a virgin, but I have yet to go on a date, have a boyfriend, or even have a first kiss. No, I’m not weird or crazy, if that’s what you’re thinking (a lot of people seem to get that perception of me when I give them this information so I had to throw in that disclaimer: I’m perfectly normal…kinda-lol).
Growing up, my mom and dad were a bit strict when it came to me and the idea of dating. They didn’t keep me locked up in a steel cage in a dungeon or anything or force me to wear a purity ring, but they really stressed how they didn’t want me dating or “talking” to boys. It never really bothered me. I just went with the flow. Now, I was the baby in the house. My older brother and sister could date, especially my big brother (my only brother). He was actually allowed to date when we were in elementary school. He had multiple girlfriends. I remember my dad smiling all super big and whatnot, being so proud of him like, “Yea, boy! You da man!” LOL. When I turned 16, the age when I “thought” I could start dating, too, it was the opposite. It was simply, NO BOYS. My dad told me that the only thing boys are good for is to buy you a bucket of popcorn at the movies and get you pregnant. My mom, whenever I brought the topic of dating, would just sternly say, “Nicolette, no. These boys can’t do nothing for you. Just keep yourself to yourself.” And I did just that. Again, it was a bit frustrating, but it really never bothered me. Now that I’m older, I’m so glad I did and I hope when I have children, they listen to me the way I listened to my parents.
In high school, my friends would always say, “Girl, just sneak and still date. That’s what I do. Your parents don’t have to know.” Yea, I know my parents probably wouldn’t have to know, but God would. At a very young age, my parents instilled the true fear of God in me. They never had to hit me (Well, I remember getting a whooping from my mom once, but I barely remember it so I don’t think it counts-lol), but I was just always so afraid of disappointing them. Plus, in my mind, I always felt that if I did something wrong, God was watching me and he would tell them and they’d find out and I’d get in trouble. LOL.
I’m an adult now and, of course, I’m not walking around afraid of I’ll get in trouble by mommy and daddy if I’m not a virgin (LOL), but years ago, as a teen, I made a vow to God, my heavenly Father, that I’d be celibate. I promised God that I’d save myself for my husband, whomever he may be (He is out there. Right, God? Yea, I’m 23 now and I be getting a lil scared, like “God a whole lotta time is passing on by. You ain’t forget about me, right?” But we’ll save that topic for another blog post).
Anyway, I’m writing this blog because I know that I’m not the only woman above the age of 19 who is still a virgin. I’d like to inspire, even if it’s just one girl, to be proud of her virginity and realize how precious it is. I want to show the world that being a virgin, abstinent, and celibate is normal and should be celebrated.
It’s crazy when you have celebrity couples, like Ciara & Russell Wilson or Meagan Good and Devon Franklin, openly discussing their choice to be celibate, and people immediately assume they’re lying or weird. It’s crazy when you have a woman like Yvonne Orji openly saying “Yes, I am still a virgin at 32”, and the entire room stares at her in disbelief like, “A virgin? Oh my gosh. I’ve never seen one in person.” Newsflash, we are not aliens and yes, we still do exist.
There aren’t a whole lot of blogs discussing this topic so, I figured, “Hey. Why not?” I’d like to share my own story and my personal journey with you guys. Every post won’t be about having a chastity belt made of steel (lol) but with my blog, I’d like to just casually talk to you guys about who I am, what I do, and I’d like to share with you, the woman I am becoming. It’s always been easier for me to express myself through writing than it is to express myself verbally. With this blog, I hope to inspire and encourage others just like me. And, to the young girl or matured woman reading this blog, There is nothing wrong with you. Holding on to your virginity or vowing to be celibate is a beautiful thing. It makes you special. We’ll talk some more on the next blog. Until next time, beauties. TTYL. (: